I watched The Hunt for Red October and these are the notes I took.
Alec Baldwin’s name in this is Jack! Like on 30 Rock!
Young Alec Baldwin looks strangely like young Steve Carrell.
Oh not like Jack Donaghy like Jack Ryan.
Other times Alec Baldwin has played a guy named Jack:
Fun with Dick and Jane (Jack McAllister)
Las Vegas (TV series) (Jack Keller)
He played something called Jabez on something called Shortcut to Happiness
What is happening in the movie I am busy on IMDB
Really can’t take Sean Connery seriously because I know he is just thinking about Trebek’s mother
Shit is my organic mac and cheese burning
Was the door that just opened the Death Star?
“A great day comradesh we shail into hishtory”
“… was what I was telling your mother last night Trebek”
Why are the Russians singing and not dancing. This is a terrible musical
Jack Ryan not Donaghy just figured everything out by looking at a low rez b&w photo of a woman or ink blot
All you have to do to get the attn of a room of white dudes talking over each other is to say Son of a bitch Son of a bitch
And slap your hand against the table and smile like you have learned the secret to giving yourself infinity BJs
There is a roll of toilet paper in this command center thing? Hanging next to all the computer monitors?
Ugh stop mansplaining with food in your mouth Sean Connery
Do you know how many years ago 1990 was? Probably more than you think
(23 minutes of self reflection re: today’s purchase of harem pants)
What just happened
Poor Jack Ryan and his ideas
“Not now Jack” like he is a 7-year-old asking for gummy submarines
Everyone is acting with their eyebrows
“I don’t smoke” Good job Jack!
Jack Ryan gets another Not now. Jack Donaghy would never stand for this
(Scramble with Friends)
Ugh still no explosions what kind of garbage movie is this
Oh oh Alec Baldwin and Sean Connery are meeting
It’s a charisma-off
Oh wow I think there is trickery happening and a torpedo and oh god are we finally getting an explosion?!?!?!?!
Sorry Steve I can’t play Scramble right now there might be a torpedo
I have been waiting a million minutes for this moment
Mother of god what is Jack doing
Don’t listen to Sean Connery he just wants to bang Trebek’s mom while chewing food
“What happened” asks Jack
As do I
Ask what happened, that is. None of the Trebek’s mom stuff
I should have been watching more/drinking less
Wait why is this guy dying
Who is this guy anyway
Still no explosions
What a stupid torpedo
YAY FINALLY GUNS
PEW PEW P-
Oh they’re done already
Now Jack is taking off his jacket! Something is going to happen!
PEW PEW PEW GUNS
(Cool torpedo sounds)
I can’t I can’t I can’t
Will there be an explosion finally????
(Torpedo effects look like Jaws)
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that)
Did Jack get dunked or is he just really sweaty
Sweaty I think
He will need electrolytes if the torpedo doesn’t get him
(Russian doffs hat)
(American administration guy wears glasses and talks, eats hard candy from dish on desk)
Alec and Sean have escaped the explosion?
They are lazing on top of the submarine in the moonlight
Gazing into each other’s eyeballs and talking about fishing
“Welcome to the new world sir” says Jack
And Sean does not tell him In a minute, Jack
Wait Jack is on the plane with a bear
Jack is on the plane with a bear
WTF did I just watch Inception again?
Was this a dream
What what what what